Preparing to Meet Miriam

After leaving Minneapolis on Sunday, I finally arrived in Kigali Tuesday morning. Soon after, Paul, the team from our church and I got into vans for the three hour drive to Goma. With a lot of waiting around and a delay at the border crossing, we arrived at the Heal Africa hospital for a short orientation. It was then time to take our bags to the place we are staying--before the lights turned off and we couldn't find our pajamas.

It was a good sleep the first night, anticipating today...the day I will meet Miriam for the first time. We will go to her house after she finishes school.

We are now at the Heal Africa computer lab, making arrangements for the day. The passport has been acquired, and we're having one of Paul's Kinshasa relatives pick it up for us. We need to get copies of Miriam's passport photo for immigration. Paul is the process of translating the adoption decree for the embassy. We're also going through all the documents necessary for the immigration process, and planning to leave on Friday (with Miriam) for Kinshasa.

It feels somewhat awkward trying to figure out when to bring her with us. We know we will take her (for good) on Friday, but until that time we are likely going to leave her with her mother. It's also difficult to know how prepared Miriam is to depart. She knows she's leaving, but at 6 years old, she has no idea what that really means. This will probably be her first time out of the Goma area, first time on a plane, first time in Kinshasa...with an innumerable number of firsts to follow.

Thank you for your prayers. Please include her mother, Godelive, as you pray for us.

I will post tomorrow, and hopefully be able to include a new photo.

Andrea Departs

Busy, busy, busy. I'm leaving today...Minneapolis, Detroit, Amsterdam, Nairobi, Kigali, Goma! All is well. My house is even clean. Please pray for me in Nairobi. I will be in the airport from 8pm to 8am all alone. I feel a little nervous...

Maybe Paul will be able to write tomorrow.

Thanks for remembering us!

Andrea

Countdown to Departure

Two posts yesterday was my good intention--trying to get ready to leave got the best of me. Nothing much has changed, but I'm not worried about the details (at this moment). I'm now in a flurry of packing and organizing the kids lives for my sister to be able to manage being the mom of 6 kids. Please be praying for my kids at home (Charis, Jacob and Moriah-cousin who is living with us), that they will be able to maintain their school work in a different environment, and for Joshua, who is away until December. Pray that they all would be prepared for the changes that will soon come with the arrival of Miriam. Pray for Billie, my sister, that she will be joyful as she juggles her family times two.

On another note, my one concern for myself is the 12 hours I will be in the Nairobi airport, from 8pm to 8am. I will be renting a sleeping room. It makes me a little nervous, and I'm sure I won't sleep, but it would be nice if I didn't feel afraid.

Thank you so much for remembering us in your prayers. I will post again, as soon as I can.

A Two-Poster Day

We had thought it would be a good plan, in order to reduce my length of stay in Congo, for me to fly directly to Kinshasa (embassy) and meet Paul with Miriam. It is there that we complete the immigration process. If all goes well, that would take about a week. Trusting the people who are helping facilitate the adoption in Goma, we were advised that it would be better for me to fly to Goma (via Kigali), so that I could meet Miriam's mother. With our meeting, she would be willing and able to release Miriam to us. Being a mother, I thought that was a completely reasonable request. After all, this is likely the last time she will ever see her daughter.

I was asked by one of my post readers to explain Miriam's orphan status...Last December her father died of AIDS. Her mother is HIV+. She has been gravely ill in the past, but is now in a period of recovery. Access to anti-retrovirals is very limited in Congo, so we doubt that she is using them to maintain her health. The U.S. Department of Immigration (USCIS) defines an orphan as either a child with no parent, or with one parent who is unable to care for the child. Miriam's HIV status is negative. USCIS will not allow an HIV+ child to immigrate. Part of what we have to do in Kinshasa is see an embassy referred physician who will test Miriam for several communicable diseases.

So it seems we have overcome the problem about our departure with Miriam, just in time for a new complication to arise. I just got a text message from Paul, letting me know that the attorney in Kinshasa was unable to get a passport, so we won't have one until next week. Apparently the government office that issues passports has run out of the official booklets. They are due in "next week"--whatever that means.

Right now the attorney is preparing the documents at the place where Paul is staying. The compound has a generator, and Goma has been without the usual few hours of electricity today, so he was unable to use his computer.

The latest plan is that I will leave for Goma on Sunday. I'm so ready to go! I'll write again this afternoon.

Keep Praying!

After the adoption was granted yesterday, Paul went back work and Miriam went home with her mother. The adoption/immigration details in Goma must have been moving along quietly today, so I didn't hear much from Paul until evening (in Goma). A few hours after he went to bed, I got an email from one of the women who has been facilitating the adoption. She told me that neither Miriam nor her mother realize that we intend to take her home with us now...

I guess this is part of the problem with adopting in a country that doesn't have much of any history with adoption. I had explicitly explained more than once, that it was our intention to take her with us in late October. I'm not sure how they have been interpreting this, but we have never actually (until yesterday) spoken with Miriam's mother. All of our communication went through another woman.

I spent about an hour or so feeling overwhelmed and frantic, until I remembered the Psalm that has been the thing that keeps putting me back into a right state of mind through this whole process.

Psalm 131
My heart is not proud, Lord
my eyes are not haughty "I do not think I am in control of this situation"

I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me "This is something that is in God's hands"

But I have calmed myself
and quieted my ambitions I love that phrase

I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content "I can be at rest"

Israel, put your hope in the Lord
both now and forevermore "I'm putting it in you, Lord"

I don't even know what to ask you to pray for, but thank you for being with us in it.

Who Needs Sleep?

I was awoken by my cell phone around 4am. I had received a text message from Paul. It ended up being a great number of text messages back and forth. Here are a few of his:

• Met Miriam’s mom. Will meet M later today

• Been at attorney’s office all morning. Going to see Judge now. Pray!!

• Judge was positive. Hope to have his judgment on Friday. Now going to pick up M from school.

• There is still a question about when u should come. Attorney will give us an idea on Friday. If u r lucky you’ll get a photo.

• Going to get Miriam now to take passport photo

• Very cute

Needless to say, I couldn’t get back to sleep after that. I found out later (by phone) that the judge had heard our story previously and was very moved. Paul, Miriam’s mother and the attorney went before the judge. He actually made the adoption decree right then, but the paperwork won’t be finished until Friday. I haven’t received the photo yet, but I will post it as soon as I do.

Paul wired the passport money to Kinshasa for our lawyer. A pastor from Goma is flying to Kinshasa tomorrow and will deliver Miriam’s photo to him. The lawyer will get the passport tomorrow and then return to Kigali.

Now we’re full speed ahead, figuring out the immigration details, changing plane reservations and waiting on the adoption paperwork. I may not even be flying to Goma, but Paul and Miriam may meet me in Kinshasa (the U.S. embassy is there). The embassy only sees adoption cases on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. We can’t make final arrangements with the airline until after Friday. When the immigration becomes final, Paul will return to Goma and Miriam and I will fly back to Minnesota…that’s plan A anyway. We’ll see what develops. What a whirlwind!

Do you see God all over this process? I am amazed!

Roller Coaster or Ferris Wheel?

Paul feels like he's on a roller coaster. I’m more inclined to think it’s a Ferris wheel ride…and we’re stranded at the top, just waiting for the mechanic to get things moving again. I suppose that has something to do with our differing proximity to the “action.”

I’m not sure about much, but I can tell you the latest update. I’m taking this news as a direction in which to pray, as opposed the assurance that it is exactly what we’ve been waiting for…we have acquired consent through a letter written by the cousin of the deceased father. Our next step is to take the letter to court, but this will not be done until the attorney makes sure that it is legitimate and that the cousin is the appropriate person to be giving consent. The attorney we’ve been working with is in Kinshasa right now, so his partner has been assigned to our case. His being in Kinshasa just happens to be perfect timing, because Miriam needs a passport, which would come from Kinshasa. Paul will be working on adoption details tomorrow.

Please continue to pray…for the pieces to fall into place, for healing of relationships between Miriam’s mother and her father’s family, and for whatever else comes to mind. My constant prayer is that God would be glorified through this process.

Whether it’s a roller coaster or a Ferris wheel, this sure is a wild ride. I’m glad to be on it!

Stigma

As mentioned in a previous post, the family of Miriam’s father has yet to give consent for the adoption. Paul was given a glimpse today into the reason for their opposition. It’s hard to understand, and in fact seems completely irrational to my American mind, but I will try to explain. My explanation comes partly from the little I know about Congolese/African culture, and also from a book I recently read (see recommendation at right).

Part of the reason AIDS has taken such a toll on the continent is because of the stigma that it carries. Anyone who admits a diagnosis with HIV is very often subject to alienation and abuse from even their closest friends and family. Because of this, it has been a very difficult battle to convince people to be tested. The stigma elicits secrecy and shame. It has been taboo to talk about sex, so education about AIDS is difficult to institute.

The family of Miriam's father would rather believe that her mother killed their son by poisoning, than to believe that he died of AIDS. This way they have the power to fight something tangible and someone they can blame. And so her mother’s desire is at odds with the grief of her father’s family and the stigma of AIDS.

This makes me think about the unseen ways in which our culture affects our faith. We make choices and justify our actions, all based on our view of the world (many of ours have to do with materialism). What seems completely rational to me in my culture may seem absurd to someone in another part of the world. No one has the “right kind of faith.” My family can only provide Miriam with a chance at more opportunity and an easier way of life. We can offer her a safe place to question God and to grow in faith…a quiet place to hear God’s call on her life.

So we attempt to trust as we wait, praying for a miracle, and knowing that God is sovereign over culture and worldview.

Waiting

During this last year I've spent a lot of time waiting. I've waited for many details with regard to this adoption. It was my best attempt at "waiting well," as opposed to simply passing time. I wanted my waiting to be an act of worship. There was some lesson in it for me...some growth of character, yet the view of it is still nebulous from where I stand.

But that's not so much what I wanted to write about. I'm writing to give an update...Paul is likely on his way to Goma now from Kigali. It's a beautiful drive, with the view of the mountains and farms, through many small towns. At the end of the road, you are left at the border of Rwanda and the DRC. Everything changes when you pass through that gate and enter Goma. The evidence of volcanic activity becomes apparent. Goma is a town at the foot of an active volcano, Mt. Nyiragongo, which last erupted in 2002, paving the whole area with lava.

Paul was waiting in Kigali for a couple from our church who will be doing a pastor's training conference this week. Paul will be translating, which will be an exhausting endeavor. Hopefully during this time he will be able to meet with our adoption attorney to find out where things stand. I will find out then by text message, or email if I'm lucky.

So I continue to wait...attempting to do so prayerfully, worshipfully. Thanks for waiting with me.

p.s. I've added some interesting links to the blog--current time in Goma, map of congo, info about the DRC, and a map quiz. Hoping to get my kids to read the blog while I'm gone, I've bribed them to learn all the countries in Africa before I return. I also added an article that Paul wrote in the church newspaper. The link is right under the first photo of Miriam,

Andrea

Pastoral Mediation

Hi friends,
Paul is now in Kigali, Rwanda for a couple of days, waiting for a couple who will join him in Goma. He just got an email update about the adoption from one of our church members who works with Heal Africa in Goma. This is the text: "Just wanted to let you know that Noella talked to the mother yesterday and she and her whole family are ready, but they are still receiving pushback from the father’s family. Noella is going to visit their pastor and see if he can help mediate."

Noella is the one who found Miriam for us, and she has facilitated most of the conversation between us and the mother and the attorney. She works with an organization (under Heal Africa umbrella) that does AIDS education, hospice support and work with AIDS orphans. We are very thankful for her and her devotion to her work. She is a young mother--a widow whose husband was killed in the regional wars.

Thank you for joining with us in prayer.
Andrea

This would be a good time to pray

The family of Miriam's father is not readily giving their consent. This is an excerpt from the message we received: "She has had problems getting a letter of consent from the husband’s family because they have had a lot of jealousy, etc."

Paul is in the airport now, on his way to Amsterdam.

Our first blog post

Today is Sunday, October 14. Paul leaves for Goma in two days. As far as we know, nothing has changed, but our attorney's email access is "patchy" at best. We are still waiting to hear that Miriam's mother has acquired permission to adopt from her late husband's family.